Not Me! Monday

This is my first Not Me! entry. Not because I haven't wanted to, simply because I haven't had anything worth not admitting to. However, I have now realized that being married creates plenty of Not Me's. Two weeks into matrimony and I have a whole slew of things I haven't done...

This week, Cody and I certainly did not go into Tom Thumb to rent a $1 DVD and leave with $100 worth of groceries. And we definitely did not justify it because we saved $70. Hey, we were lured in with the "buy 2 get 3 free." You would be too...

We also did not already decorate our porch with Halloween lights and a Jack'o'Lantern even though it is still the middle of September. And I definitely did not wear Christmas socks the next day. I do not get so excited about the holidays that I start to blend them all together.

While Cody was cleaning out the closet this weekend, I did not decide that it was time to scrub/bleach the tub. And even if I did, I would not strip down to my underwear to clean in in hopes of avoiding any bleach-ruined clothes. If Cody walked in and saw me in the tub, scrubbing, with no clothes on, he would not simply remark "maybe you should get some fresh air..."

Sunday night, while we were cooking dinner and had the whole family over to watch the Cowboys game, I did not take Mojo out because he was jumping at the door, then drag him back in after 10 minutes muttering "stupid stupid dog" because he did nothing out there. Then, when Cody told me to put him on the porch, Mojo did not squeeze through the bars and run away. After we chased after him, he definitely did not squeeze through the bars into the apartment complex next to ours, and really run away. We did not shimmy under the gate and then (literally) run around the entire complex for 20 minutes until we found him. I did not realize how completely out of shape I am, but then justify eating a slice of pecan pie that night because I clearly got plenty of exercise earlier. I am not that pathetic. No. Not me.

During the 4th quarter of the Cowboys game when it was really looking like they were going to lose, I did not realize that I wasn't wearing my "lucky" Romo jersey and run and go put it on. I did not actually believe that they might win because I put it on. I don't think that a silly think like a jersey could actually influence the game. That's just weird.

And now, Cody and I are not sitting here and watching Maury. Even if we were, we would not be making fun of the people and start talking to each other like they are. You know wut I sayin'?? And we definitely are not making bets on whether or not these men are the baby daddy. Maury is not our Monday afternoon sport.

What did you not do this week?