This verse has been a theme of our marriage from the beginning. I had it engraved on the inside of Cody's wedding band, and it has been at the top of this blog since I started it shortly after we got engaged. Over the past year, I have been reading this verse every morning and repeating it to myself during the day when I begin to get anxious. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not upon your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6
"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!"
A year ago ago Cody and I got unexpected and unsettling news. Cody works in Information Management for CHRISTUS Health at the corporate office in Dallas. In February 2011, the company announced that they would be moving the corporate office and would announce by the end of the year where that move would be. Great. Ten months of anxiety and uneasiness. We were planning on buying a house and settling into our future in Dallas, and suddenly we had no idea where we would be living (or when exactly we would find out). I am a creature of habit and a slave to routine, and both of those things were uprooted. I was not happy. I'm not going to pretend like I took it well, either. I cried a lot. We panicked, we fought, we stressed. I did not want to leave my home. I was scared! People kept telling me, "It will be an adventure!" and I would reply, "I don't do adventures!" I do planning, I do lists, I do schedules, I do safe.
After a week or two of sleepless nights and days filled with anxiety, I did what I should have done at the beginning. I prayed. I prayed long and hard and fervently. I prayed for peace, I prayed for guidance, and I prayed for comfort. And then I felt like an idiot. Why was I doubting God? He has never let me down. My plans have never been better than His plans. His timing has always been perfect. His will has always been the best. And then I remembered our verse.
Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.
"Okay, Lord," I said. "I trust you. I am willing and I am ready. If you are going to move Cody, I will follow." From that moment on, we said that wherever CHRISTUS announced the new office would be is where God wanted us and where He would use us. "Bloom where you are planted," my mom would always say. It wasn't easy at times. We wanted to make our future plans, but we couldn't. There were moments when I would start to feel like we were at the mercy of Cody's company and that a few individuals were deciding our fate. Then I would remind my stupid self, God is in control. He is leading this entire process. He is guiding the individuals who are making the decisions. And God is going to lead us where we are supposed to be.
We knew the locations were narrowed down to Houston, San Antonio, Austin, or Dallas. Dallas was out of the question because they were moving the office from Dallas. Austin was announced that it was ruled out early (for reasons I am unaware of). So in our minds, it was between San Antonio or Houston. A few months into the process, Cody and I were almost 100% convinced they would choose Houston and we would be moving. We were already looking at where we wanted to live, what apartments we would live in first, and which school districts we preferred. We were confident in this being the case because roughly 40 individuals work from the Dallas office, 100 at the San Antonio office, and 650 in the Houston office. It is more feasible to move 140 to Houston than 750 to Dallas or San Antonio, right? Right. So, Houston it is. We still didn't want to leave our home, but we trusted God and His plan for our lives. And we waited.
The end of the year came, and no announcement was made. They told us they would announce the relocation in January. Are you kidding me!? We waited all year and still didn't know. I graduated from college, and I couldn't start my career until we knew where we would be living. My anxiety rose, but still I trusted God. January started moving along, and still no announcement. Then, on Wednesday of this week, Cody was instructed that a meeting was scheduled at 10 am on Friday to announce the move. We were excited and apprehensive. I was thankful to finally have an answer, and anxious to hear what it would be. On Friday, when Cody left for the meeting, I told him, "Text me if you have something text-worthy. Call me if it is big." (I was going to be at work, too.) I prayed all morning long. I prayed for peace and I prayed for answers. I prayed that God would use us wherever He sent us. I prayed that our families would be okay with the move. 10 am rolled around, and I knew Cody would be in his meeting. I drove to work (I was scheduled in at 10:30), and prayed out loud during my entire drive. I told God, "You know I am not a strong person, but I trust that you know what you're doing. I will follow wherever you send us, and I will do what You want me to do." I was calculating in my head around when I thought Cody might be able to tell me the news. When I got to work and got settled in, I grabbed my phone and saw that I had 1 text message. "There's no way this is already Cody," I said to myself. I unlocked the phone and sure enough it was from him. One text popped up on the screen, with one word on it:
"Dallas."
I was in shock! I didn't know what it meant, I didn't know all the details, but I was so happy. All I felt was absolute certainty that it was God's will, and we would honor Him. We got to stay in our home, but more importantly, we got to pick up our lives again and start our future right away. We didn't have to pack, wait to move, move, wait for me to get a job at our new location, find a new church, or make new friends. We find it almost funny that after a year of turmoil, we got to a place where we were totally ready to go where the Lord called us, and He told us to stay right where we were! But I guess that just means we've been where we were supposed to be all along. I still don't understand why they chose Dallas. They are moving roughly 800 people to a new location in Irving. Out of 700 IM employees that are affected, only 4 already lived in Dallas (Cody being one of them). We never even humored ourselves with the thought that they might choose Dallas over the other two cities, but they did.
So look out, Dallas! The Cooks are here to stay!!
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