Lindsey and Cody

Ruth 1:16

2012-01-28T19:44:00.000-08:00

"But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me." Ruth 1:16-17

This verse has been a theme of our marriage from the beginning. I had it engraved on the inside of Cody's wedding band, and it has been at the top of this blog since I started it shortly after we got engaged. Over the past year, I have been reading this verse every morning and repeating it to myself during the day when I begin to get anxious. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not upon your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!"

A year ago ago Cody and I got unexpected and unsettling news. Cody works in Information Management for CHRISTUS Health at the corporate office in Dallas. In February 2010, the company announced that they would be moving the corporate office and would announce by the end of the year where that move would be. Great. Ten months of anxiety and uneasiness. We were planning on buying a house and settling into our future in Dallas, and suddenly we had no idea where we would be living (or when exactly we would find out). I am a creature of habit and a slave to routine, and both of those things were uprooted. I was not happy. I'm not going to pretend like I took it well, either. I cried a lot. We panicked, we fought, we stressed. I did not want to leave my home. I was scared! People kept telling me, "It will be an adventure!" and I would reply, "I don't do adventures!" I do planning, I do lists, I do schedules, I do safe.

After a week or two of sleepless nights and days filled with anxiety, I did what I should have done at the beginning. I prayed. I prayed long and hard and fervently. I prayed for peace, I prayed for guidance, and I prayed for comfort. And then I felt like an idiot. Why was I doubting God? He has never let me down. My plans have never been better than His plans. His timing has always been perfect. His will has always been the best. And then I remembered our verse.

Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.

"Okay, Lord," I said. "I trust you. I am willing and I am ready. If you are going to move Cody, I will follow." From that moment on, we said that wherever CHRISTUS announced the new office would be is where God wanted us and where He would use us. "Bloom where you are planted," my mom would always say. It wasn't easy at times. We wanted to make our future plans, but we couldn't. There were moments when I would start to feel like we were at the mercy of Cody's company and that a few individuals were deciding our fate. Then I would remind my stupid self, God is in control. He is leading this entire process. He is guiding the individuals who are making the decisions. And God is going to lead us where we are supposed to be.

We knew the locations were narrowed down to Houston, San Antonio, Austin, or Dallas. Dallas was out of the question because they were moving the office from Dallas. Austin was announced that it was ruled out early (for reasons I am unaware of). So in our minds, it was between San Antonio or Houston. A few months into the process, Cody and I were almost 100% convinced they would choose Houston and we would be moving. We were already looking at where we wanted to live, what apartments we would live in first, and which school districts we preferred. We were confident in this being the case because roughly 40 individuals work from the Dallas office, 100 at the San Antonio office, and 650 in the Houston office. It is more feasible to move 140 to Houston than 750 to Dallas or San Antonio, right? Right. So, Houston it is. We still didn't want to leave our home, but we trusted God and His plan for our lives. And we waited.

The end of the year came, and no announcement was made. They told us they would announce the relocation in January. Are you kidding me!? We waited all year and still didn't know. I graduated from college, and I couldn't start my career until we knew where we would be living. My anxiety rose, but still I trusted God. January started moving along, and still no announcement. Then, on Wednesday of this week, Cody was instructed that a meeting was scheduled at 10 am on Friday to announce the move. We were excited and apprehensive. I was thankful to finally have an answer, and anxious to hear what it would be. On Friday, when Cody left for the meeting, I told him, "Text me if you have something text-worthy. Call me if it is big." (I was going to be at work, too.) I prayed all morning long. I prayed for peace and I prayed for answers. I prayed that God would use us wherever He sent us. I prayed that our families would be okay with the move. 10 am rolled around, and I knew Cody would be in his meeting. I drove to work (I was scheduled in at 10:30), and prayed out loud during my entire drive. I told God, "You know I am not a strong person, but I trust that you know what you're doing. I will follow wherever you send us, and I will do what You want me to do." I was calculating in my head around when I thought Cody might be able to tell me the news. When I got to work and got settled in, I grabbed my phone and saw that I had 1 text message. "There's no way this is already Cody," I said to myself. I unlocked the phone and sure enough it was from him. One text popped up on the screen, with one word on it:

"Dallas."

I was in shock! I didn't know what it meant, I didn't know all the details, but I was so happy. All I felt was absolute certainty that it was God's will, and we would honor Him. We got to stay in our home, but more importantly, we got to pick up our lives again and start our future right away. We didn't have to pack, wait to move, move, wait for me to get a job at our new location, find a new church, or make new friends. We find it almost funny that after a year of turmoil, we got to a place where we were totally ready to go where the Lord called us, and He told us to stay right where we were! But I guess that just means we've been where we were supposed to be all along. I still don't understand why they chose Dallas. They are moving roughly 1,200 people to a new location in Irving. Out of 700 IM employees that are affected, only 4 already lived in Dallas (Cody being one of them). We never even humored ourselves with the thought that they might choose Dallas over the other two cities, but they did.

So look out, Dallas! The Cooks are here to stay!!

A Much-Needed Update

2012-01-25T07:01:00.000-08:00

Hello, folks! So much has happened since the last time I updated. I'm hoping to have the time to keep this up more regularly now. But before that, I have to tell you what's been going on with the Cook Clan.

July 2011:

Took a trip to Galveston, Tx with Cody's family and it was wonderful and relaxing. Games were played, sun was soaked, fun was had. I'm already ready to go back.

As soon as we got back from Galveston, my sister had her second baby. Eli Reid Berry.

And I got a lot of cuddle-time with that sweet angel.

December 16, 2011:

I FINALLY GRADUATED COLLEGE!

This was something I have been working on for 6 1/2 years. When Cody and I chose to get married before I graduated, we encountered many naysayers who said I would never finish school. Well, here you go, Naysayers! I graduated Summa Cum Laude, with a final GPA of 3.961, and I worked hard for it. I sacrificed a lot for it. Were the first 2 years of our marriage hard because of school? Yes. We couldn't do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted, because I was always studying or doing school work. I worked part-time, which meant we were on a significantly tighter budget for things. It also meant we have had to wait longer for a house, a family, and our "future."

But we did it. It was our life, and I firmly believe it was what God chose for us. We learned so much about each other, the importance of quality time, and our finances during this time. Things I truly don't think we would have learned otherwise. So thank you God, for your unfailing love and grace! And thank you Cody, for your love and support!

Christmas 2011 was wonderful as always. Christmas is my absolute favorite time of the year (as if I even have to say that, everyone knows this about me)... It was even more celebratory because of the relief and peace I felt after graduating. We spent many days baking, shopping, and spending time together leading up to a fun Christmas day.

The day after Christmas Cody and I made the drive from Dallas to Houston to meet up with Cody's family. Then we caught a plane from Houston to Dallas to go to...

DISNEY WORLD!

I had never been to Disney World. Cody and I wanted to go after we got married, but work and school interfered. It was as wonderful and magical as I had imagined. We had a blast and brought in the New Year with fun and style. Well, sort of.

We spent New Years Eve at Universal Studios, dancing madly in the street to a cover band, while hoards of people looked at us like we were crazy. And we had a blast.

We weren't ready to leave.

And now? Now we're waiting. Enjoying each other, enjoying the new extra-time we're getting to spend together. God is moving in our lives, and we are being still, waiting to see where he leads us. But that is for another post...

21 Months

2011-06-07T17:39:00.000-07:00

There came a moment this Sunday when I thought to myself "I guess this is what it means when they say the honeymoon is over."

We didn't even make it two years.

But let me back track a bit.

Cody and I moved in to our apartment in September 2009. (He actually moved in July, but I didn't live there until after we got married). I love our first home, we have made it very cozy and have a lot of memories here.. but there are plenty of things I don't like.

We live in a cave! Our apartment gets zero direct sunlight, which is a problem if you know me because I LOVE SUN! Sunlight is the best accessory in a house in my opinion. We get none.
Our view is the back side of garage. Seriously, that is all we see when we look out our windows - about 10 feet of grass/dirt and then a big garage (actually 5 garages in a row).
No storage space! 825 sqft. of living space is fine, I have never had that feeling of "Oh my gosh we are living on top of each other I have to leave before you drive me crazy!" that people talk about. Maybe because I actually love my husband and we get along really well? But we have no place to put anything! It is like playing Tetris any time I want to get a pot or skillet out in the kitchen to cook.
Last and certainly not least - the bathtub. I have hated our bathtub since I moved in. It is disgusting and stained and just flat out not pretty. I clean it every week, so it's clean, but it definitely doesn't look clean. And we've tried multiple times to get it to look clean - scrubbing bubbles, magic eraser(s), comet + a rag, scrubbing bubbles + steel wool, pouring bleach in the tub and letting it sit.. nothing. works.

So this weekend I was determined to get it clean. I was tired of not taking baths because the idea sicked me out, and I hated having to explain it every time someone came over: "I promise, it is clean, it just looks disgusting..."

So Sunday we went to Wal-Mart and got a few supplies: Yellow cleaning gloves, steel wool, more magic erasers, bleach, and comet (after we got home and set in, I started to wish we had gotten masks too).. We got home, stripped down, and set in.

So there we were, about an hour in to our project, on a Sunday afternoon, delirious from the fumes, yellow gloves on hands, elbow deep in comet, in our underwear, precariously perched on/in/around the tub, and it hit me:

"I guess this is what it means when they say the honeymoon is over."

And I sat there while we giggled, coughed, laughed, groaned, praising each other for our hard work, and I thought how much better this was. How happy I am. How I would take tub-cleaning with my husband on a Sunday over just about anything else. If this is post-honeymoon phase... I'll take it!

And we just so happened to make a really good team.

Before:

Disgusting, right!? I'm sure you're asking yourself how I lived and showered in that for so long, huh? I don't know either.

AFTER:

Sooo so so so much better. I didn't even know it was possible!! It only took 2 hours (!!), but we finally got it white again. Comet & steel wool, people! Just in case you ever need to know. I will swear by it now.

I Thought We Only Came for Mouthwash!

2011-04-10T20:28:00.000-07:00

Cody and I were at Dollar Tree this past week picking up some party supplies for my sister's birthday when I saw the sweetest event unfold before me (and caught a glimpse of our future)...

We were walking to the checkout when this little old lady turned the corner, her arms full of items, to meet her husband at the register, when he exclaimed (playfully):

"I thought we only came for mouthwash!?"

(this is the part where I saw our future... because that is going to be what I hear for the rest of my life!)

So they put all of the items (mouthwash included) on the counter and we were in line behind them. The cashier told them the total, $19.16, when the little old man exclaimed:

"That was when I was born! Can you believe it!? $19.16! That was when I was born!"

(at this point I am grinning ear-to-ear while calculating in my head... 95 years old!!)

He turns to his wife and says again:

"Can you believe it!? Our total was $19.16! That was when I was born! Can you believe it!?"

It was like that was the most exciting thing that could have happened to him that day! They were giggling, I was grinning, and all he kept saying was "Can you believe it!?"

I watched them as they walked out, then paused at the curb to hold on to each other to make the step down into the street. They kept holding hands as they walked to their car, Cody and I weren't far behind them.

I just kept watching them as they waddled down the parking lot, holding hands. He put the bag in the back and helped his wife into the car. The entire time I am just soaking up the sweetness of it all.

Then my hilarious, lovable husband finally chimed in with a comment that is so him...

While I was still watching them and taking it all in, he said:

"Ninety-five years old, Wow! (pause)... Should they still be driving? Let's get on the road before they do..."

What's IN the Box!?

2011-04-04T18:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, something very exciting happened!!

But let me start at the beginning:

Cody and I are very in to budgeting. Hence, my budget blog! We are newlyweds and we have learned a lot about money, what we want our future to be like, and what it will take to get us there! So, we save a lot, and say "no" a lot, and "make do" a lot.

But sometimes, you need things. Not want but neeed. School is winding down and speeding up all at the same time. I originally thought I would be graduating this Summer. Well, it will be extended 1 semester longer, and I will graduate with my Bachelors this December!

BUT, this Summer I am also starting towards my Masters! Scary and thrilling at the same time. Dec 2012 I will have my MBA and be on my way! Done with school forever!

So what does that have to do with yesterday and budgeting and blessings and fun!?

Well, that's where this box comes in to play!

Cody and I went a picked up this baby yesterday. I couldn't wait to get home and open it!

And what did I see when I did?!

A brand spanking new MacBook Pro!!

My 5 year old MacBook was on the last little bit of its life. It was unreliable and I couldn't count on using it for school anymore. BUT! I couldn't justify buying a new one. Sure, I needed one for school. Especially since my graduate classes start this Summer, but we just couldn't fit it into our budget.

So instead, I was blessed with this most generous gift from my Mother-In-Law! I cried.. but who is surprised!? I am so thankful! I don't feel like I deserve such a huge gift but I love it and I will put it to such great use!

Thank you Thank you Thank you!!

I still can't believe it!

The Big "V"

2011-01-25T21:56:00.000-08:00

This weekend, Code and I were driving and I was talking (rambling) about Valentine's Day, how wonderful I think it is, and how it was one of my favorite holidays. I hadn't gotten too many sentences in, when he interjected, "Is there a holiday that isn't your favorite?!" Well, no. I don't think there is! But I still think Valentine's Day is wonderful, and I still take any opportunity (and make any excuse) to walk down the Valentine aisle at Target. It's just so joyful!

So I couldn't let V pass without making my blog festive, could I?
I didn't think so either.

The only exciting thing going on in the Cook household right now is... our newly shampooed carpets! And the highs (and lows) of potty training Macy. Those two topics are inversely related, obviously. We decided that cleaning our carpets might entice Mace-Face to expedite the training process, so we rented a RugDoc on Sunday and set to work. Our carpets are fresh and clean! But that also meant getting all of the stuff (junk) off of our floor so we could clean. I decided this was a good time to do some MUCH needed organizing. We are both generally very clean and orderly people, but after last semester of taking 5 classes, and Code starting his new position in the company, we just never found the time to really deep clean.

So! Yesterday I had a rare afternoon off, after working 6:30-noon, so I swung by Target (are you sensing a trend here? Target is such a constant in my life) to get a couple of Rubbermaid containers, and I set off to 5 hours of cleaning/organizing! It was actually quite therapeutic.

This is all of the stuff that we picked up off the floor to clean the carpet... Yikes!
Our bed is under there somewhere...

And our closet has looked like this for a few months. There is little storage space in our apartment, and I have so many crafting supplies! I turned 6 containers worth of stuff into 3! That's a great achievement if you as me.

Done!! So clean, so much space. We can walk into our closet!

I think my mind is clearer! I want to change my clothes three times a day now that I enjoy walking into our closet. I think I find too much excitement in the little things... like simple organization!

Oh, and back to that potty training thing. Macy is such a smart little puppy! And she is making huge achievements the past few days. I feel like such a proud mother, and she's just my pup. Imagine how I'll be when I actually have a baby! I can hear Cody praising her, and talking to her, and loving on her. It feels my heart with Joy! I am married to such a sweet man, even if he is rough around the edges. Literally. I'm pretty sure he's growing a beard...

Unbroken

2011-01-20T14:23:00.000-08:00

It is no secret that I am an avid reader. I have always preferred to read over doing, well, almost anything else. Two birthdays ago I got a kindle and it was probably the best give I've ever received. I don't go anywhere without my kindle now.. and I hate to admit that I have been that idiot that tries to squeeze in a page of reading while sitting at a red light, or in a drive thru...

However, I still come across books that I just have to own! If I had my way, my house would look like a library! On the first day of class, my Employment Law professor recommended this book to us, and I can't pass up a good recommendation! So now, I am currently reading (and owning):

I am so excited about this book! I recommend it to anyone who might stumble upon this blog. Please, read it so that I can talk about it with you! And so that I can leave Cody alone, because I keep talking about it and he's gracious enough to nod and smile and say, "Oh, yeah? That's neat, baby." Even though he has no idea what I'm talking about. So come on! Read it!

You might as well call me Olga.

2010-10-08T07:47:00.000-07:00

Because I've been Russian a lot lately.

Rushin' to get ready, rushin' to eat breakfast, rushin' to school, rushin' to work, rushin' to study so I can actually sleep.

Always, always, always, Russian.

I fully underestimated how time consuming school + work + husband + family would be. I mean, I took classes last fall and spring while I was married, but nothing like this. PLUS I only lived 15 minutes away from the campus. Now I live 45 minutes away... that makes a huge difference.

Before I went to get registered for classes this semester Cody and I sat down and decided that I would do whatever was necessary to graduate by next December. Well, this meant taking 5 classes each semester, plus next summer. So there I was, sitting in front of my advisor, and I said "Eh.. 5? I can do 5! I took 4 classes my first 3 years of college... I can do 5!" And she looked at me like I was crazy. "Are you sure?!" she said, "most people take 4. These are harder classes.." Well, I told her that I liked challenges.. and that I was confident that I could do it! It would be fun!

... I should have listened to her.

Five is tougher than I thought it would be. Five is five classes, plus five classes worth of homework, plus five classes full of studying for five classes worth of tests. And these professors seem to think that we need to learn to "work well with each other" so they assign countless group projects that require meeting outside of class. Working well with others is overrated!

So for now my life is::

Leaving for school and work at 6:30 am and getting home at 6:30 pm.
Communicating with everyone I love via text, because I don't even have time to talk on the phone.
Answering "tired, but good!!" anytime someone asks how I am.
Answering "homework!" anytime Cody asks what my plans are for the night.
Answering "I'd love to! ..but I can't, I've got to study" any time my family asks if we want to go to dinner, a baseball game, come over for BBQ, or anything else, really.
Truly realizing what a blessing weekends are!

And I am so thankful for Cody! He is so understanding and helpful. He has been picking up my slack so much lately. He has the laundry and dishes done by the time I get home from work. He picks me up dinner, or hot chocolate, or really what ever I ask for while I stay home and study. He encourages me when I get frustrated, wishes me a sleepy "good luck on your test, baby!" when I wake him up at 6:30 to tell him bye, and tells me he's proud of me all of the time. I cannot imagine what this would be like if I were married to anyone else. Certainly nothing like that, I'm sure.

And I love making everyone proud of me. It is one of the things I always strive for in life; making the people I love proud of me. But mostly, I've been proud of myself lately. When I got an A on my senior-level psychology test when I'm one of 3/175 who aren't psych majors... I was proud. When I got the ONLY 100 in the class on my marketing midterm... I was proud. When I've been able to look back on the past 2 months of the semester and say that I have done my best, I have not skipped class when I wanted to skip class, when I've stayed home and studied when I wanted to do ANYTHING else, when I've gotten all A's on everything I've done, in my first full semester at a "real" university, in my first 5 class semester... I am proud. And I know I couldn't have done it without my husband, my family, all the prayers, and a gracious God!

And now, I am working towards December 7th. The day of my last final of the semester., and I will have a month and a half break...

I just hope October is more kind to me than September was...

Pink Punch Buttercup Bag

2010-04-30T09:20:00.000-07:00

Last night... I made that!

I love it. But it's going to Muskogee, Oklahoma tomorrow!

Sew What Matters?

2010-04-27T19:19:00.000-07:00

Remember these?

Those are my babies! And... I had to fold them up and put them in my sewing cabinet, on hold. You see, school started back up, which means my free time went from almost all the time to next to none.

But the good news? I have two weeks left of school! Which means, hello summer. And hello sewing machine. And hello Etsy shop....

Mama's back.

First thing on my list? Filling my custom orders! I have a super cute bag that I'm working on for a super sweet woman, Michelle.
And you know I'm going to post a picture as soon as I'm done! :)

Sinful

2010-04-19T15:47:00.000-07:00

I love desserts. Seriously. The sweeter, the richer, the better. My list of all time favorite desserts goes in this order:

1. tiramisu
2. layer cake (preferably chocolate)
3. apple crisp
4. anything else with sugar

I consider myself somewhat of a dessert connoisseur. When we go out to dinner and the waiter asks, "did any of you save room for dessert?" everyone looks at me. Because, well, dessert is the most important meal of the day, right?

However, any dessert that calls for 1 lb of powdered sugar, 2 sticks of butter, a block of cream cheese, and a box of cake mix... well, I just call that "sinful." And honestly, if Paula Deen makes it, can it be called anything but "sinful"??

Paula Deen's Double Chocolate Gooey Butter Cake

8 tablespoons (1 stick) butter, melted, plus 8 more tablespoons (1 stick) butter, melted
1 (18.25-ounce) package chocolate cake mix
1 egg, plus 2 eggs
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
3 to 4 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 (16-ounce) box powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup chopped nuts (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Lightly grease a 13 by 9-inch baking pan.

In a large bowl, combine the cake mix, 1 egg, and 1 stick melted butter, and stir until well blended. Pat mixture into prepared pan and set aside.
In a stand mixer, or with a hand mixer, beat the cream cheese until smooth. Add the remaining 2 eggs, and the cocoa powder (I used 4 tablespoons). Lower the speed of the mixer, and add the powdered sugar. Continue beating until ingredients are well mixed. Slowly add the remaining 1 stick of melted butter, and the vanilla, continuing to beat the mixture until smooth. Stir in nuts with a rubber spatula (I left the nuts out). Spread filling over cake mixture in pan. Bake for 40 to 50 minutes. Be careful not to overcook the cake; the center should still be a little gooey when finished baking. Let cake partially cool on a wire rack before cutting into pieces.

The hardest part for me is determining how long to bake things for and when they're ready. I cooked mine for 35 minutes, checked it, and cooked it for 5 minutes more. The top had started to crack and pull away from the edges, which is the only way I could tell that it was done. The usually "cake test" (sticking a knife or toothpick in until it comes out clean) doesn't work for this one.

---

So let me just say, this was a huge hit with my family. My husband isn't the biggest dessert fan (I know. How could I marry a non-dessert-lover?) but he loved these. I heard that they are even better the next day, but they didn't last that long in my house! I really can't wait to try variations on this recipe as well. Like, using a lemon cake mix and putting lemon juice and zest in the topping mix, or carrot cake mix and leaving the top mix plain, or German chocolate cake mix and adding nuts and coconut to the topping... the possibilities are endless!

What? Summer season and my Destin trip are coming up? I don't think my new bikini and Paula Deen would get along very well...

More than a "crisis"

2010-04-15T18:34:00.000-07:00

Do you think I'd look good like this?

I mean, with that hair color... the weird red and streaks of blonde. You know, with my skin tone and my long hair-
Do you think I could pull it off? Or am I too old?

What's that you say? That it's not quite.. "me"? That maybe something a little more "natural" would suit me better?

Yeah, I thought so too. So that's what I asked for when I went to the salon yesterday. The same salon that I've been going to for 7 years and to the same colorist that did a wonderful job on my sister's hair on Monday. However, when I said "natural" and "blended highlights" with "some lowlights," he heard
"Please. I really want to look like a 17 year old punk rocker. Edgy. With big chunks of abnormal color just on the TOP of my head. Use FOUR different colors on my hair, too. You know, make me look like Lindsay Lohan on one of her bad days."

And that's what he did.

That picture was taken right after I got home, dried half of my hair thinking maaaybe it will look a little different once its dry, and then burst into tears and yelled for Cody to come look at the new clown he was married too. I have to give him tons of compliments though. He was the sweetest, trying to calm me down and tell me that it "doesn't look that bad. In fact, he likes it! A lot of people have that hair style!!" In which I proceeded to tell him "yeah! And I don't like it on them!!" So, he drove me over to my parents' house where my mom and sister were so I could show them the atrocity that happened to my (was) beautiful hair! I burst into the house, cried some more, and they also tried to tell me how not horrible it was. But they were wrong. Sooo wrong. Just look in the picture! So I immediately called the salon and told them I needed it fixed before I had to be at work the next day!

So 9:30 this morning I made my way back to Plano, to meet with Liz, and try and undo the mess.

(more pictures from this morning, while I was waiting in the drive-thru for my Starbucks... because I was not about to go inside!)

Liz was very helpful and understanding. She had actually seen me when I was leaving the salon yesterday and overheard me tell my stylist that I did not like the color. So after four bowls of I-don't-want-to-know-what went on my hair, and two hours later, she achieved something much more pleasant:

Its a bit more drastic in person. The blonde is VERY blonde, and it's fairly dark. The underneath is a deep browny-red with no highlights... and it is nothing like I had originally gone in for. But, I'm embracing it. Cody LOVES it. I told him that he's gotten to be married to three different women in the past 2 days!

Lesson learned (again): don't mess what with God has made.

Fearless: Stilsvillians

2010-04-06T06:20:00.000-07:00

I haven't updated this thing in months! We've been so busy being married and enjoying life! These past 7 months have been so wonderful.. and we have a lot to look forward to (like Destin this summer!!).

But the reason for this post is something that has been weighing on my mind a lot recently. I had been thinking about this subject for a few weeks, and this morning during my devotional-time I read something that mirrored it perfectly. I've been reading Max Lucado's Fearless, and if you are looking for a book to read I highly recommend this one. He touches on different subjects that we fear, and then blatantly states why God says we shouldn't fear but trust in him. Duh, right!? It makes sense.. but do we sometimes read the Bible and skim over verses that you've heard for years and don't take what you really should out of them? I do. All the time. And this book puts it back in a way that I can actually take, and think about, and apply to my actions and life that day.

So, the chapter "Fear of Not Mattering" opens up with a poem called The Villagers of Stiltsville (which reminds me a lot of a Shel Silverstein poem):

Perhaps you don't know,
then, maybe you do,
about Stiltsville, the village,,
(so strange but so true)

where people like we,
some tiny, some tall,
with jobs and kids
and clocks on the wall

keep an eye on the time.
For each evening at six,
they meet in the square
for the purpose of sticks,

tall stilts upon which
Stiltsvillians can strut
and be lifted above
those down in the rut:

the less and the least,
the Tribe of Too Smalls,
the not cools and have-nots
who want to be tall

but can't, because
in the giving of sticks,
their name was not called.
They didn't get picked.

Yet still they come
when the villagers gather;
they press to the front
to see if they matter

to the clique of the cool,
the court of high clout,
that decides who is special
and declares with a shout,

"You're classy!" "You're pretty!"
"You're clever" or "Funny!"
And bequeath a prize,
not medals or money,

not a freshly baked pie
or a house someone built,
but the oddest of gifts--
a gift of some stilts.

Moving up is their mission
going higher their aim.
"Elevate your position"
is the name of the game.

The higher-ups of Stiltsville
(you know if you've been there)
make the biggest to-do
of the sweetness of thin air.

They relish the chance
on their high apparatus
to strut on their stilts,
the ultimate of status.

For isn't life best
when viewed from the top?
Unless you stumble
and suddenly are not

so sure of your footing.
You tilt and then sway.
"Look out bel-o-o-ow!"
and you fall straightaway

into the Too Smalls,
hoi polloi of the earth.
You land on you pride-
oh boy, how it hurts

when the chic police,
in the jilt of all jilts,
don't offer to help
but instead take your stilts.

"Who made you king?"
you start to complain
but then notice the hour
and forget your refrain.

It's almost six!
No time for chatter.
It's back to the crowd
to see if you matter.

And there is the question: do we matter? We fear we don't, and so we do all sorts of things to prove that we do. We buy certain clothes or own certain possessions or drive certain cars to prove that we matter. Maybe a celebrity indorses it or wears it themselves. We want to own these things because someone, 'the court of high clout,' says we should and that we are somebody if we do. Connect yourself to smeone special and you become someone special, right? We calculate our significance in proportion to how many facebook friends we have, how many twitter followers or text messages we've recieved that day. Do you "mean something" if five people comment on your picture? Ten? Honestly, it sounds ridiculous but it's true!

And the worst of all, "the not cools and have-nots who want to be tall, but can't because in the giving of sticks, their name was not called. They didn't get picked." So what is it for you? What was your name not called for? For me it was skinny ankles and inner thighs. "OOOH, if I could just take a laser and cut my legs skinnier right HERE!" I used to think. And my ankels? Well, I always considered them "cankles." And I have a big nose. And a big mouth. I'm short and pale... and I could go on and on and on, listing things that I would change about myself. The things that I was not called for. My stilts were not given. Heck, I starved myself to sub 80 pounds when I was 19, all to fit in and be significant. We spend hunderds of dollars at the salon getting tan, bleaching our hair. Countless hours at the gym to get fit and toned, just so we can look 'right' in our expensive clothes. And what does that do? It tells God He's wrong.
My sweet therapist that I saw when I was overcoming my anorexia asked me;

"Does God make mistakes?"

Well, no, of course He doesn't! And so she said, "well, you were crafted in His image. You were His idea, and he only has great ones. So by starving yourself and going to other extremes so that you can be a certain way other than you were made... isn't that telling God that He made a mistake?"

Oh. My. Gosh. Tabloid magazines and websites tell us, "you need to be like this to be somebody." But God tells us "I love you how I made you!" Why question his judgement? According to him you were "skillfully wrought" (Ps. 139:15). You were "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Ps. 139:14). He can't stop thinking about you! If you could count his thoughts of you, " they would be more in number than the sand" (Ps. 139:18).

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows" (Matt. 10:29-31).
'What's more inglorious than hair? Who inventoris follicles? We monitor other resources: the amount of money in the bank, gas in the tank, pounds on the scale. But hair on the skin? Not one ... We style hair, color hair, cut hair. But we don't count hair.
God does.'

Stiltsvillians still cluster,
and crowds still clamor,
but more stay away.
They seem less enamored

since the Carpenter came
and rufed to be stilted.
He chose low over high,
left the system tip-tilted.

"You matter already,"
he explained to the town.
"Trust me on this one,
Keep your feet on the ground."

He's enough, isn't He?

A Friendly Note

2009-09-25T17:01:00.000-07:00

Dear passive aggressive jerks who go by the name "our neighbors,"

Thank you for leaving the very nasty note on our door while we were out at the DMV today. It was the exact thing that I was hoping to see when we came home. I especially liked the part where you said "if you don't do something about our problem, there WILL be consequences." And I appreciated it when you underlined "WILL" three times, because one or two really would not have gotten your message across.

Sincerely,
Lindsey and Cody

Oh, and PS. It would be great if next time you put the letter on the correct apartment. You know, the one with the people who are actually causing your problem. It would be a bit more effective and appropriate.

PPS. I did the mature thing and I tattled on you. I took the note to the front office and told her what you did. I also tattled on the girls who are causing the problem that you feel so inclined to complain about. So there!

The One in Which I'm Vague

2009-09-23T18:12:00.001-07:00

(yes, i meant for my title to mimic mandy) (and how good was that alliteration??)

I just did something I knew was the right thing to do. But even though I knew it was the right thing , I didn't want to do it. Honestly, how big of a surprise is this? How often is the right thing the same as the easy thing? Almost never. And although I would love to say that I always do the right thing, regardless of how easy or hard it is... I can't. However, this time I very clearly knew. I knew I would feel guilty if I didn't. I knew I needed to do it. I knew I didn't have a choice. I even sat here for ten minutes trying to justify not doing it. Trying to grasp at any little thing that would make the alternative (the thing I wanted to do) okay. But I knew it wasn't okay. I knew what I needed to do.

And I did it.

And I feel amazing.

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me again why we should listen to You.

Not Me! Monday

2009-09-21T10:30:00.000-07:00

This is my first Not Me! entry. Not because I haven't wanted to, simply because I haven't had anything worth not admitting to. However, I have now realized that being married creates plenty of Not Me's. Two weeks into matrimony and I have a whole slew of things I haven't done...

This week, Cody and I certainly did not go into Tom Thumb to rent a $1 DVD and leave with $100 worth of groceries. And we definitely did not justify it because we saved $70. Hey, we were lured in with the "buy 2 get 3 free." You would be too...

We also did not already decorate our porch with Halloween lights and a Jack'o'Lantern even though it is still the middle of September. And I definitely did not wear Christmas socks the next day. I do not get so excited about the holidays that I start to blend them all together.

While Cody was cleaning out the closet this weekend, I did not decide that it was time to scrub/bleach the tub. And even if I did, I would not strip down to my underwear to clean in in hopes of avoiding any bleach-ruined clothes. If Cody walked in and saw me in the tub, scrubbing, with no clothes on, he would not simply remark "maybe you should get some fresh air..."

Sunday night, while we were cooking dinner and had the whole family over to watch the Cowboys game, I did not take Mojo out because he was jumping at the door, then drag him back in after 10 minutes muttering "stupid stupid dog" because he did nothing out there. Then, when Cody told me to put him on the porch, Mojo did not squeeze through the bars and run away. After we chased after him, he definitely did not squeeze through the bars into the apartment complex next to ours, and really run away. We did not shimmy under the gate and then (literally) run around the entire complex for 20 minutes until we found him. I did not realize how completely out of shape I am, but then justify eating a slice of pecan pie that night because I clearly got plenty of exercise earlier. I am not that pathetic. No. Not me.

During the 4th quarter of the Cowboys game when it was really looking like they were going to lose, I did not realize that I wasn't wearing my "lucky" Romo jersey and run and go put it on. I did not actually believe that they might win because I put it on. I don't think that a silly think like a jersey could actually influence the game. That's just weird.

And now, Cody and I are not sitting here and watching Maury. Even if we were, we would not be making fun of the people and start talking to each other like they are. You know wut I sayin'?? And we definitely are not making bets on whether or not these men are the baby daddy. Maury is not our Monday afternoon sport.

What did you not do this week?

It's Really Here

2009-08-31T13:25:00.000-07:00

I'm getting married on Saturday!!

:)

One Month!!!

2009-08-05T18:13:00.000-07:00

I can't let this pass by without saying::

ONE MONTH until I am Mrs. Cook!

I cannot wait to marry my best friend! Since he moved here a month ago, we have been having a wonderful time being a real couple, going to movies and dinner and saying things like "I'll be there in 10 minutes"...

Also, three weeks ago we started a 7 week long premarital class at Prestonwood Baptist, and it is the best thing that we could be doing with the last month before we get married! It is an incredibly helpful and enjoyable class and we are learning a lot. And sometimes its hard and challenging, but that's the good part! The class falls along the lines of Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, which I've read and still sits on my bookshelf by my bed! Cody and I don't know everything (or anything) about marriage and how God designed it and intends for it to be, but we are learning! And we are good students. We are also going to attend the 6 month long class called Foundations after this one ends- it expands on all of the teachings in this course. We like the weekly reminder of how we should be treating each other... Or, you know, when the other person is messing up we can say "REMEMBER what Matt said in church on Sunday? Hmm??" I mean, that's what they intend for us to do, right?

Also, in honor of our One Month 'till Matrimony:

My stinkin' favors I worked forever on, but I love them!

$#^%!

2009-07-28T16:42:00.000-07:00

You know you've worked in the service industry too long when you categorize your work days by how many times you were cussed at.

Only twice?! Today was a "Good!" day.

Trashy People

2009-07-15T22:31:00.000-07:00

Cody moved into our apartment two and a half weeks ago... we took out the trash for the first time tonight. And before you start thinking about how disgusting that could be, you have to realize that we have to drive across the complex just to throw trash away. That's ridiculous! So what did we do? We just kept putting trash inside of other trash inside of boxes that we had unpacked.

Finally, tonight after dinner at my sister's house, my dad helped us load all of the boxes (full of trash) into his truck and drive it over to the dumpster. And it only took ten trips.

Cody, after we had finally taken all of the trash out: "I think the square footage of our apartment just doubled..."

That would be a lot more funny if it wasn't true.

Clincially Insane

2009-07-07T22:22:00.001-07:00

Just recently Cody and I were having a conversation. I was telling him about something I do, and then I paused, contemplated what I had been saying, and said:

"You know... I'd make a good insane person."

Cody: "Yeah, but that's how I like you."

Me: "Insane!?"

Cody: "No. But a little bit crazy."

Well good then! Because I am. Very much crazy, in fact.

What was I telling him about? Stress. How much I stress. When I stress. What I stress about. Which is... everything. "It's what I do," I said. "Give me your problems, I will stress about them for you! I will be your own personal Jesus!" (Kidding, of course).

But lately, I've been stressing about this wedding. I've been stressing about what I need to get done, if I am doing enough, if it is pretty enough, if I have paid everyone, contacted everyone, invited everyone, und so weiter. Silly, I know. And I realized this. So a week ago I made the defiant choice to stop stressing about the little (and big) wedding stuff and take it one exciting day at a time. Problem solved, right? No! Now I am stressing about stressing too much! I am stressed that I let this all pass me by without enjoying it. I have stressed so much that seven engaged months have passed and I haven't done anything but stress. So instead of stressing about the wedding, I'm stressing that I haven't enjoyed the engagement because I've been stressed. I'm stressed that after I'm married, I'm going to look back and be disappointed that I didn't enjoy this part of the relationship as much as I wish I had. What did I do instead? Stress.

I, Lindsey Reed, stress about stress. Ugh.

I would make a good insane person, no?

Under Construction

2009-07-06T21:36:00.000-07:00

Stay tuned for a new, very much improved, and very beautiful blog. Soon it will be an un-imposter, thanks to the fantastic work of Mrs. Mandy!

Also, I am working on a great post-redesign post, worthy of the new look!

So much to look forward to! (and so many exclamation points!)!!
Until then, keep your feet on the ground and your eyes turned to Him.

CODY IS HERE!!

2009-06-27T16:04:00.000-07:00

HERE. HERE. HERE.
Living five minutes down the street here.
We can see each other longer than a weekend here.
Spontaneous date nights here.
Spend all night watching a movie and not feel like we're wasting time here.
No more goodbyes here.

And I cannot wait to spend every one of those here minutes with him!

Friends Galore

2009-06-23T22:06:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like keeping up friendships is too much work sometimes? I hate that one of the greatest joys in life, such as having great, soul bearing friends, is such a chore to me. I truly know some of the most wonderful people, and I have always had the pleasure to be surrounded by such, but sometimes the strain of keeping and cultivating these friendships get to me.

You see, I have issues with time and stress. Not enough time = a lot of stress. I also am a serious list maker and scheduler. Well, where do friendships fit into this picture? Once you divide home responsibilities, my relationship with my fiance (someone who I have never gotten to spend time with until now), work every day, school (15 hours this semester), and wedding planning (two months left and 3 full pages of to-dos. ugh.).... where in the world do I have time to play? And I love these people. They deserve my time and attention too. I want to text them and meet up for coffee. I want to have them over to do something other than tie ribbons. But when? What is the answer?

Well I certainly don't have one. But if you're reading this, and I haven't texted/called/emailed/facebook messaged/twittered you back.. I still care, I still like you, and I do want to do lunch sometime. I appreciate your offers, I enjoy your conversations, and hopefully there is an end to the madness.

At least hold out hope that when we're sixty, I'll sit on the porch and cross stitch with you. But hopefully I'll have gotten back to you before then.

A Servant Heart

2009-06-21T12:04:00.002-07:00

So far, my entire working career has been in the service industry. My first job was at a Starbucks Coffee in McKinney where I slaved behind an espresso machine at all hours of the day for a year and a half. Finally, my "break through" came when I was promoted to Shift Supervisor of a new and fancy store that opened in the Watters Creek shopping center in Allen. I slaved behind said espresso machine at more reasonable hours of the day, at slightly higher increase in pay. That lasted for almost a year, until April 28, when I was minding my dear sweet business stirring mocha and my manager called me into the back room to "ask me something." I walked back there, whisk in hand, and turned the corner to hear him blurt out "our store is closing in a month." Okay. Great. What does a senior in college who goes to school full time and doesn't have any real credentials do? That's right. Serve people.

So I took my sister's job at the JP Morgan Chase branch that she had just recently vacated so that she could stay at home with her about-to-be-born-baby. I did earn that job fair and square, beating out 5 other interviewees, however it is just the same as Starbucks, but with different job requirements and a slightly calmer, quieter, and better smelling environment. (Oh, you might think to yourself "What!? How in the world could you not like the smell of working in Starbucks!?" Well, I did! For two and a half years, I loved it every day! But when you leave work and need to go somewhere afterwards, and you smell like stale coffee, sour milk, have mocha and syrup caked to your bleached and dirty clothes, and have whipped cream in your hair... it gets old.) After three months of working at Chase, I've already seen enough to get discouraged all over again..

At Starbucks, most customers expect you to remember their drink after one visit to your store, then they want you to anticipate when they are coming in next so you will have it ready when they just happen to stop by, not charge them for their extra anything, smile, be friendly, dance a jig and stand on your head and bow down before them all while making their drink. Also, you have to oblige. And if you don't, they get mad. Very mad. And then they want it for free.
At Chase, a customer will pull up to the drive through, send their transaction through the tube, then buzz immediately to ask what is taking so long. OR they will see that 3 people are in the drive through, come inside, and throw a fit when you still help the people in the drive through first because they've been waiting longer.

Really? Have any of these people every worked for someone else, or had someone ask something of them? How do they feel when it goes unappreciated? Or when the job they do is deemed inadequate, even though they did all that was asked of them? And do they keep wanting to serve, even if they know they are bound to get the same, thankless response? Where did they learn that it was okay to treat people who are serving them that way?

I ask myself these questions after every encounter I have like that. Sometimes their words don't get to me, but other times they take their toll. I catch myself muttering something under my breath, or turning around to a coworker to start berating them after they've gone.

But that's not the answer. On the contrary, we should thrive in situations like this, using them as a tool so that we can shine in the Lord's light. We are called to be servants, just like the Son of Man came to do, and that applies to every situation, be it literal or not.

Although we may have developed a warped sense of what being a servant means, it doesn't mean we are beneath those we serve. Quite the opposite in fact, Jesus said that being a servant is how we learn to become great. Matthew 20:26, "whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant." And this is another opportunity for us to learn how to be more Christlike by mirroring His image. He was the most obedient servant of all.

We could cut down those who belittle us in return, and we can silently curse those who we think do us wrong, but what would that achieve? Does it make you feel better? I for one can answer "no" to that, from experience. It accomplishes nothing more than to put us on the same level with the offenders, and doesn't teach either party a thing. Instead, let us strive to be a gracious servant, and in turn teach the complainers, attackers, and those around you how to do the same. It is not easy, I know, but it is effective. And when you succeed, you glorify God, and is that not more satisfying than getting the last jab in?

I have a very recent example:

About a month ago, while I will still trying to stand on my own two feet at Chase, we had a very very busy day at work. And although at Starbucks every day was busy, and some customers would get upset, for the most part once they got their drink and were on their way they were satisfied. The same can't be said at Chase. When you are dealing with people's money, smoothing over hostile situations is a lot more difficult. This particular day I apparently drew the short straw and had the pleasure of helping a particular customer, we'll call her Joy. She came up to me, already irritated, because she was incurring fees on her account. She wanted to know why she was, and when I told her why (because of the particular account she had) she got irate. "That is NOT a condition! I NEVER agreed to those conditions! YOU (and she points her finger at me when she says that) changed that on me! I NEVER signed anything to agree to THOSE conditions!" And she went on, and on, and on. After about 10 minutes of her arguing and me talking, my manager finally came over to tell her that she needed to calm down and talk about it her office, but she wasn't done. She went on for about 10 more minutes, while she argued with me over different aspects of her transaction because I "wasn't doing them correctly" (I was) and finally requested someone else because "the dumb idiot" (me) had "no idea what they were doing" (I did). My manager led her away, but I called after her: "Joy, I hope you have a wonderful day!" When I said that, my manager and 2 people around gawked. The next customer came to me beaming: "How in the world did you keep your cool? I was getting mad and she wasn't even being mean to me!" Later, my manager told me she left happy, and wanted to apologize for her behavior.

In truth, I honestly don't know why I didn't completely fall apart right in front of her. I am not particularly keen on confrontation, and I can't always find the right words to say at the time. But with her, I did. And afterwards I praised God. He gave me the courage and strength to say what I needed say, and be a witness and testament to His light and servitude. I pray that at least someone that day went home with a new understanding of what it means to serve with all of your heart because of what they saw. Not because of me, but because of God working in me. I know I did.

Having the heart of a servant is not just having a heart of gold. Someone who looks out for the interest of others, someone who willingly goes beyond what is expected of them is considered a servant. A servant's heart does not complain. It does not ask for something in return. A servant's heart looks to its Master for direction, and then willingly follows. Because in the end, our Master is always right, His decisions are always sound.

At work, in my marriage, with my family and friends, through hardships and confrontations, I want to strive for that every day.

So I ask you, do you want to be servant-hearted? Or do you want to be served?

Impostor

2009-06-12T09:51:00.000-07:00

I feel like I have an impostor blog. It looks like a blog, and acts like a blog, but its not a real blog. I don't have a real name, no buttons, no real header.. and I think I would be more motivated to update if it was prettier.

You see, I can deisgn all sorts of fantastic things in Photoshop to decorate with. I can make the headers and buttons and doodads and blips. But alas, I do not have Photoshop (or any other editing machine) on my MacBook. I also conveniently packed up my computer that does have Photoshop on it. Blah blah blah, the point is, I can do nothing! And, once I did make those... I wouldn't know what to do with it! So here I sit, boring white blog with a boring picture on top and boring writing underneath. Maybe Cody, aka computer genius, will know what to do once I get him up here into my hands. But he's not here, and my blog still wants to be like all the other shinier, fancier, real blogs.

Maybe I should've won Mandy's twitter contest the other night, and at least scored myself a new beautiful header. You want to have another one, Mandy? I promise.. I'll get it next time!

Back to weddings

2009-06-02T20:19:00.000-07:00

"Lindsey's not married yet. Tody needs to come and get Lindsey married."
This was so eloquently stated by my sweet little 3 year old niece, Emily, this past weekend. She loves that Tody of hers.

I have been more productive in the past three weeks than I have been in the past four months! It is a very good feeling, and just maybe this whole "wedding" thing will really happen.

I got to spend some wonderful time with two of my best friends, one who flew in from Atlanta much to my surprise. They also happen to be two of my bridesmaids, who so graciously modeled dresses for me and I finally picked them and got them ordered. We also ordered 2 out of 3 flower girl dresses. WHEW! My sister who lives in Odessa told me that if I didn't pick them soon she was going to wear brown scrubs to my wedding. I almost gave in.

And after much weeping and gnashing of teeth (or not quite so much of either), I finally made a decision on my invitations. I had even started working with a gentleman who owns a letterpress company in Michigan and we had designed my invitations... and then I just buckled down and decided to do them myself. You see, if I had it my way, I would make just about every component of this wedding (well, even more than I am now... which is a lot). I would make my own cake, my own centerpieces, etc. But, with limited time and many obligations, I know better than to take all of that on. However, I bit the bullet and decided to print/make my own invitations. All 200 of them. I will let you know in about 2 weeks whether this is a good idea or not. I'm going with "not" right now.

Wedding-hair-run-through? Check. One awesome and satisfactory check.
Contract on Cody's house? Awesome check #2.
Wedding dress alteration (appointment)? Check.
Cake? Um, no check. Still.
Flowers? Friday check!

We are also finally registered! Thankfully, since Cody is in the middle of selling his house down in Nederland/Beaumont, Texas and can't come here right now, my dear friend and BM Gina played his role for the day. We had a blast!! Cody told me he trusted me 100% to pick whatever I wanted for our new house and he would love it. And I love that he let me do that! We are registered at Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, and Pottery Barn. So, if you're like me and secretly love to look at people's registries and see what they've picked... then by all means, mine is available for your browsing. Just look under either of our names. And, you know, if you feel compelled to buy us the espresso machine, we wouldn't mind at all.

Now off to cut and burn ribbons...

Happy Stellanday!

2009-05-18T13:22:00.000-07:00

I have been a avid follower of MckMama and her Charming Kids for a while now, and I've been praying step by step, along with hundreds of others, for her sweet baby Stellan.

So, when he was in the hospital with his scary string of SVT, I joined in spreading the sound of Stellan's name with my own submission to the Stellan Name Gallery. So of course I was excited when I later saw my picture posted on her blog...

Exciting, right?! And that's the end of the story... Or so I thought!

About a month later, I caught wind of this from my good friend Heather! A very special Thanks! to her, because I never would've known about it otherwise. Pretty neat, huh? And it ended there, right? No. Of course not.

Remember when Cody was telling me about my birthday presents? Well, I got one of them last Friday. And what did I find when I opened the FedEx box? None other than the Stellan Will Live book, with my picture printed in it!

What a sweet, sweet fiance of mine! And how wonderful he is for getting such a special and personal gift. I never would have guessed this present.. and he didn't even hint at it. We're getting good at this whole keeping-surprises-in thing. Good job, hunny! Now teach my dad...

I turn 22 on Wednesday!

Surprise, Surprise

2009-05-14T16:12:00.000-07:00

My sisters will take any opportunity to tell you that I am special. And as much as I am just like them in several ways... I will readily admit that I am the different one. I am much more artistic, creative, idealistic, and out-of-the-box thinking than they are. I was always the dreamer, the one who just didn't like reality, so I would create my own. In elementary I went to a different school on monday and tuesday than the rest of the kids in my wednesday thru thursday class. It was a special school, for advanced and creative kids. My oldest sister Leisa liked to call it my own "special ed." (She always was so loving...)

One of the ways that I am different from them is that I love surprises. I love them. Leisa would tell my mom all of the Christmas presents she wanted and would wrap them herself. She even conned her 3 year old son into telling her what her husband got her for Mother's Day this year. My other sister Ashley would buy her own presents and then let me wrap them. She also checked her wedding and baby registries religiously to see who had bought what, just so she wouldn't be surprised. And they all three hate opening up gifts in front of other people.

Me? I think they're absolutely crazy.

My mom hates it because I will not tell her what I want for birthdays and Christmases.. because then she would buy it and I would inadvertently know what I was getting. And I don't want to know! I will take all precautions to not know. I love the surprise. I love being surprised in any way (unless it's a scared-surprise, and then I cry... Just ask Cody).

Speaking of Cody, we love to surprise each other. I send him cards and presents unexpectedly in the mail, and I love getting his phone calls after they've arrived. He will show up a day or a few hours earlier than he is supposed to when he comes to visit, sometimes surprising me at work when I wasn't expecting him to arrive until much later that night. And then his ultimate surprise, when he proposed- several weeks earlier than my ring should have been ready, and two days earlier than he should have been visiting.

HOWEVER. Because I love to be surprised so much, I am soo good at hiding them. Cody? Not so much. He gets so excited that he somehow lets it slip! And its absolutely adorable.

The first time he showed up early, he called me ever hour "just to see what I was doing"... and he just so happened to be driving each time he called. "I'm driving to work" he said. "I'm going to get lunch now"..."I'm running to my mom's house"... Except I knew something was up.

My Christmas present, which was my engagement ring.. He gave me a hint every single night as to what it was. I never did quite guess it, but he couldn't stand not to say something about it!

With more practice, he is getting better at keeping his surprises in. Better, but not quite there.

Last night he was talking about my birthday, which is on May 20, and was telling me about my presents he's getting me. One is on its way. The other he found and went back to get a few days later and they didn't have it anymore so he's still searching. The third present he's been trying to find for 2 weeks and just bought last night. "It's a DVD!" he said, "but I am NOT telling you which one!"

Thank you, hunny! I wonder if he can last the next six days without telling me about my other two...

You know what happens when you ASSume things...

2009-05-12T19:41:00.000-07:00

Cody and I have a problem. See, we start talking about something and at some point disagree.. and then we start to discuss what we disagree on. Then after a few (or more) minutes of hashing out the details, we realize that we completely misunderstood each other, and don't disagree at all. We'll say something like "Oh! I thought you meant (insert assumption here)!" And he'll say "No... I meant (insert what he really meant, which is how I feel about the subject here)." And then we'll laugh and move on.

This happened when we first started to discuss living together after we get married and what we'll be bringing with us. He lives in his own house that he's furnished himself, so he has a lot of stuff... and I only have my bedroom furniture. I want to re-decorate our house, and he didn't want to get rid of all of his perfectly good stuff. This is where the above happened.. He wants to keep his furniture, I thought he wanted to keep everything. I want to get new decorations, he thought I wanted to get new furniture/everything. We went along that way for about 2 months before we realized it was another misunderstanding, and this one turned out in both of our favors.

FFW to tonight. I had finally found the bedding I wanted, but immediately I knew Cody wouldn't like it. See, as much as he loves me... I just didn't think he'd go along with it at all. He has an opinion about certain things and I really thought he'd put his foot down on flowery bedding... And once I make up my mind on wanting something, I really want it. Clearly. But this is how the conversation ensued:

Me: "Hey hunny.. remember when you said I get to pick out everything for our house?
Cody: "Thats funny, I was just thinking about that today actually. Yes, why?"
Me: "Well, I found the bedding I really want. And I really like it, and I really want it. But I really don't think you're going to like it because it's girly..."
Cody: "Baby, as long as it's not ridiculously expensive... I'm going to get you whatever you want."

Could he be any greater? No, I think not.

(Disclaimer: I do not think he is great just because he wants to get me what I want and lets me pick out everything for our house. He is also wonderful because he puts up with my crying, reasons with me when I'm stressed or upset about something, gives me back rubs at night and foot rubs when I get off work, drives me to several stores just to find the one thing I'm looking for, and watches basketball, football, and girl movies with me.)

For Amanda's Sake

2009-05-10T18:19:00.000-07:00

Because she commented on my last post, saying it was time for an update.. And she was SO right! Wedding things have been coming together so nicely that I am filled with such anticipation and excitement and joy about it all. I am quite possibly more excited now than I was when I first got engaged. Let's explore the probable reasons:

My perfect wedding dress is in my possession. I was more excited today when I tried it on than I was the day that I bought it. Maybe it's because this one is mine and not a store-dress that is 12 sizes bigger than the size I wear (yes, that is how I tried "my" dress on in the store before I bought it). Or maybe it's just because it's perfect and, all conceit aside, I really cannot wait for people (Cody) to see me in it.
Our apartment is ours in less than a month. June 6, to be exact. Even though, much to our dismay, Cody hasn't sold his house yet- I am still excited. Because on June 6 it's ours whether we're living in it or not!
I am 2 steps closer to ordering my invitations. I have samples being sent to me in the mail, AND I am working closely with the man who I (think) is going to be making (letterpress-ing) them for us. Fingers crossed, because this has been a pain in my side.
Seeings how I'm going to be in school when we have our wedding, we are sadly not going to to have a honeymoon immediately. Instead we are having a mini-moon! And we have (almost, again) booked our hotel! I'm just waiting on Cody for this one, now.

Beautiful!!

So, that's what's going on. And if you're keeping tabs, this is what is left:

Bridesmaid dresses
Cake
Flowers
Rehearsal dinner booked (Seriously. Someone in Allen/Plano, help me out here!)
Menu for reception finalized
Favors finished
Programs
Everything else

Hmm.. looks like I have some work to do! Who wants to help? Oh, right, my best friends/bridesmaids. Gina? Maddy? When are you coming back to Texas?

Unfortunately thats all the time I have for today. Next post will be entirely non-wedding. I promise. And hopefully it will come sooner than this one! Or, Amanda could just remind me again.

For Maddy's Sake

2009-03-11T16:07:00.000-07:00

I know I know... I always have every intention to keep up with these things and then I fail miserably after a few weeks (or days). But here I am!! And thanks to my dear friend Maddy, who is probably the only person who read this, I have encouragement to keep plodding through.

Not much to update on the wedding. Work, school, my sister being 4 weeks or less away from having her baby girl (and me planning her baby shower), Cody getting his house ready to sell, and everything else under the sun has been keeping me busy enough.I haven't had much time to work on wedding details, much to my dismay. And stress level.

I do have something that's been on my mind today, though. I know I haven't done very well at updating this thing, but if you saw me in person you would be hearing about wedding-wedding-wedding all of the time. I'm excited! However, I think many people (and rightfully so) could get the impression that that is what I'm excited for. The wedding. And I can happily say, they're wrong. Of course I'm excited to have my dream wedding, but more than that I'm excited to marry my dream man (cheesy, I know. But true)! I'm excited to marry Cody, I'm excited to be a wife. I'm excited to work every day at fulfilling all of the expectations that God has of our holy covenant we are entering. I've been reading Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, and I recommend it to anyone who is getting married, married, or even thinking about it...

"God designed marriage to make us holy, not to make us happy."

Wow. I mean, wow! I went to Barnes and Noble a few months ago, saw that on the cover of the book, and knew I wanted to read it immediately. And I think that so many people miss this. Just look at the divorce rate. If you're not happy, if you don't 'love' them anymore, if they're not acting exactly as you desire, then just divorce them and find someone you do... right? It kills me that to this day people walk down the aisle thinking "If it doesn't work out, we can just get a divorce!" Cody told me from the very beginning of our relationship that divorce just was not an option for him, and that he did not agree with how quickly people jump to that as the answer. Not that either of us cast judgment on anyone that has gone through a divorce, however.

So, I was at work the other day and it was just my manager, Tim, and me in the store. One of our regular (and slightly strange) customers came in. He is always on his computer writing Christian books, and even has a few that are published. And he is strange. Tim calls him an "extreme Christian," and there are a lot of things that he talks about that I don't agree with. My manager and I were discussing some of his more radical things he's said to us when he said with disgust, "Do you know what he said to me the other day?? He told me that 'God designed marriage to make us holy, not to make us happy.' " I was slightly offended that he was so appalled by this statement, and extremely sad that he was. It just proved how distorted people's perception of marriage has become.

I told Tim that I actually agree with that statement (he was a bit shocked). God designed marriage to make us more Christ-like. He uses it as a tool, a discipline and a motivation to love Him more and to reflect the character of Jesus Christ. We are called to love our spouses when they are unlovable. Respect them unfailingly. Seek forgiveness humbly, and put down your pride to graciously extended it (even when you don't think they deserve it). Everything in a marriage is "filled with prophetic potential." Does Christ love us only when we are following him steadfast? Does He forgive us, only when we deserve it? (When do we ever deserve His forgiveness?) Does He respect us only when we are doing something admirable?

No. The answer is a resounding NO.

So what are we to do? We are to strive every day to lose our selfishness, our pride, our wants and desires, and be like He has called us to be. Fail, but try again immediately after. Right now I find myself failing a lot. Cody is better at forgiveness than I am. He is better at being selfless. I feel guilty for letting him down, and for not fulfilling the role that he deserves. But I desire to, and I know what I should be doing, and that is the first step. I cannot wait to be married to him and to practice it every day. Our marriage will shape us as followers, disciples, and mold us more to reflect His image. It will make us holy.

Someone told me, "God wants us to be happy," and I'm sure He does. He rejoices when we are happy.. when we are doing something pleasing to Him. But He does not put us through situations where the only outcome is our happiness. And that is not, in my opinion at least, what he created marriage for.

I know that I am in no way an expert on marriage. I am not in the position to tell people what they are doing wrong, or to act like I have experience on the subject in any way! I don't. I know I will learn so much, and that it will be harder than I could ever imagine. However, I do feel confident in my knowledge of how it should be.. and I think that's a very important component.

And I cannot wait to start learning, failing, growing, and being holy with Cody :) Now we are just 160 days, one florist, one baker, and five bridesmaid dresses away.

Catchup

2009-02-24T13:01:00.000-08:00

AND I'm already behind on my blogging. But the thing is- I really haven't had anything to say! The wedding planning has hit a slight lull of not having anything pressing to do. But I have plenty of things I could be doing... if i just put my nose to the grindstone and got it done. Instead I'm picking up my cross-stitching project I started at the beginning of the year for baby Emma. Hopefully I'll have it finished by her baby shower! I'm good with deadlines :)

I got some of my SAVE the DATES out today! I can't wait for everyone to get them and see how pretty they are. I'm waiting on Cody to give me his list of guests and addresses, and we're starting to get nervous that we might exceed our guest limit. WHOOPS! Hopefully everyone will actually send in the RSVP's so we will know!

I really don't have anything going on that needs documenting.. so instead here's a picture of my beautiful Valentine's flowers from Mr. Cook! (they looked/smelled wonderful for a week and got even prettier when all of the lilies opened up!)

Success!

2009-02-10T08:41:00.000-08:00

It's done!!

I booked our wedding!! Yesterday I called and confirmed our date and made the first down payment. It is at THE place. The one that I fell in love with as soon as I saw it, and the only place that I've visited/called/looked at that I could actually see myself getting married at. I am SO excited! The Lord really knows best :) Every time I found a new place that I liked I would get my hopes up- "THIS may be the one!!" I would say. And every time there was some aspect that wouldn't work out. I would get discouraged and wonder if I would even find a place in time to get everything else done. Every aspect of the wedding relies on the date/time/location, and I didn't know those! Either Cody or my mom would tell me that instead of being upset I needed to realize that it was just an opportunity to find an even BETTER place... and they were right!! I love OUR place, and they were right.. if I had chosen one of the other ones I wouldn't have found THIS one. Ohhh, and I've already ordered our Save the Dates. I can get used to this whole wedding planning thing... maybe I'll help other Brides plan theirs once I'm married. It's fun!!

A Sorry Excuse

2009-02-06T13:32:00.000-08:00

I've yet to decide what exactly I am going to write here. My mind is currently on wedding channel 24/7, and I am sure it is getting old by now- and its only 1 month in! I'm starting to become self conscious when I start talking wedding again, because I can only imagine how annoying it is! So to have yet another outlet for wedding talk seems to only exacerbate the problem (even though that is precisely why I started this blog). I've been debating in my head every time I begin to say something else wedding online whether it is beginning to be too much by now. However, it is the only time in my life that I will be engaged and get to do this. I have been waiting for it for almost 22 years. And I am excited (thrilled. overjoyed. ecstatic.)... This is when Cody would tell me- "You need to stop apologizing for being yourself!"

So quickly, I'm going to say a resounding "I'm SORRY!!" for any time I go overboard with the wedding talk (or anything else for that matter) and I'm going to move forward from here. And, if it gets too much.. just don't read it :) Thank you for understanding...

211 days till I'm a Cook.

I went to the venue for a second time today to try and finalize/barter/sign my life away. I absolutely love it, and it is looking like it will be THE place. Prayers and finger-crossing if you don't mind. This part of the planning has been a huge source of stress for little 'ol me, and I will be significantly more at ease when we know definitively where and when we will be getting married. AND so I can order my adorable Save the Dates! It's difficult to do this without Cody here. As much as I love making all of the decisions so it will be exactly how I want, and as much as I know Cody couldn't care less what shade of ivory we use for the tablecloths, I still want him here. And he does a pretty good job at pretending like he knows what's going on :)

My thoughts are pretty scrambled in this one. I promise to be more concise in the future. Maybe..

And so it begins...

2009-02-04T16:16:00.000-08:00

I always knew I would do it. I have followed, read, and admired those who had gone through it before and envied them. I never knew when "my time" would come, but I knew it would. I would think about it, read magazines focused on it, watch TV shows solely dedicated to IT! I prayed about it, I saw the joy in those who were lucky enough to experience it, and still I waited. I waited patiently... or most of the time impatiently. But I waited. And now it is happening to me...

I am getting married. (!!!)

I want to start this blog to chronicle the next 7 months until I get married. I want to record the joyous process of wedding planning (and the stress, frustration, and worry!). I want to have something for those people who don't live nearby to read and keep updated with what is going on. And I want to give people like me who love to hear about others' weddings an opportunity to see the intimate details of it all.

But mostly I want an outlet so that I can get all my wedding-wedding-wedding talk out so everyone around can stop hearing about it all. the. time.

And it doesn't stop there! After we get married (eek!!) I'll be a newlywed and that is a whole different experience that should be followed! Oh, I'm excited. If I had a cloud of "excitement" around me right now it would be so thick I couldn't even see through it. And it's a good thing I don't, because I have some cleaning to do tonight.

So this is the start, and I'm just going to jump feet first in from here. Get excited, people!! We're getting MARRIED!